ancient history(its all about the battles)

Lance with a Brick on the End

The brick guarantees you will win each time. Until the other guy gets one.

The lance was designed to kill by poking, but this rarely happened even at the peak of lance usage. Lances don't penetrate armor very well, so what's the point of jousting with one? Instead, put a brick on the end, and have your horse charge. (Note: if you do not have a horse, then hold this weapon up and wait for an idiot with a horse to charge into it.) The impact will devastate.
Upgrading a lance may, however, result in the opponent noticing it and doing the same at the next joust. That's why it is crucial to kill him, or to upgrade one step further than the rival. Here is the list of lance upgrades in efficiency order:

1. Bare lance
2. Lance with brick on the end (Adds reach, crushes enemy knight)
3. Lance with two bricks on the end (Crushes brick, enemy knight)
4. Lance with bluefin tuna on the end (Oil separates bricks, causes enemy knight to fall off due to excess lubrication)
5. Lance with cat tied on the end (Cat pounces on tuna, helmet of enemy knight)
6. Lance with bulldog tied on the end (Bulldog eats cat, enemy knight)
7. Lance with bear tied on the end (Bear kills bulldog, then eats enemy knight)
8. Lance with bear tied to another bear tied to the lance(Bears team up on enemy bear, then enemy knight)
9. Lance with a lance tied to it (lances extended reach stabs through both bears and enemy knight)
10. Lance with turtle tied to the end (turtle's round shell deflects pointed lance, lance stabbes into enemy knight)
11. Lance with aligator tied to the end (gator eats turtle, broken shell shards impale enemy knight)
12. Bare lance (Pointed end easily kills the aligator, stench induces enemy vomiting)

But here's where it gets tricky. A lance with two bricks on the end can easily take a lance with a bulldog on the end, for instance.